I was seriously wronged recently.
I can’t go into the details here, but I would absolutely qualify what happened as bullying. I did something someone didn’t like, then that person held onto anger about that for months until the perfect opportunity presented itself to twist the truth in such a way that would make me look terrible and the other person look like a victim. As a result of what happened, I have been afraid of the repercussions for myself, my family and even in my professional life.
On Monday morning, I stood in my laundry room and cried while helplessness washed over me. If I took action, I put myself at risk of facing further harassment. The person had already proven to be vindictive. I didn’t know what to do.
Later that day, a friend at work provided the best advice I could’ve hoped for: What the other person really wanted was for me to engage, so by not engaging I would not only be protecting myself but also not giving in to what the bully wanted.
And I realized that doing nothing was no longer a position of weakness; it has taken a lot more strength to sit back, knowing the truth is on my side and that the truth always wins in the end.
My feelings are still raw, but I am beginning to let it go, to release the anger, the feelings of helplessness, the fear. I held those feelings in clenched hands, but my friend who offered such good advice began the process of helping me pry my fingers loose and now I have taken up the work myself. And as I begin to glimpse the lines of my palms, I realize that there’s not even anything in my hands. Nothing at all.
I’m looking forward to release. I’m looking forward to standing with my arms in the air, hands open, with knowledge that I have weathered the storm, behaved with honor and come out the other side a better person.
This post was written in response to one of Mama Kat’s weekly writing prompts: Choose a word and let it inspire a blog post. The word I chose was “Release,” inspired by my friend Courtney Kirkland’s post.
(A note on the image source: I searched for the original image but all I could come up with was a bunch of tumblr sites that had shared it without linking back to the original. If anyone knows who made this, I would love to credit them!)
Welcome to The Family Math. I'm Misty, a third of the Math equation. I'm learning this motherhood gig as I go. I'm a freelance writer, a cloth diaperer, postpartum depression survivor, all-around good friend and collecter of Xena and Hercules paraphernalia (OK, so one of those things isn't true).
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
If it was at work, does your company have an open door policy? Letting go of the anger is crucial but that doesn’t mean what the person did should be tolerated. At my work, we have code of business conduct hotline that can be called anonymously if you feel uncomfortable taking it inside. There is also a no-retaliation clause where that person could lose his job. I just think this sort of behavior should be documented.
Hope I am not too much of a kill joy and I hope you feel better about things soon. M
This is really great advice. Thankfully this issue was not at work, so any effects on my professional life would be indirect.
I am so sorry, Misty, but I’m so glad you have found a way to start letting it go. It is SO hard not to want to set the record straight, even if you know that it will cause more problems.
KeAnne recently posted..Anger, Whining, Cuddly Purgatory & the Star Chart
Absolutely. But I’m glad I’m letting it go, too, especially with more time/distance from the situation.
I wish you all the best in this journey.
Thank you.
You handled this so much better than I would have. I still say the woman needs a punch in the throat.
And that’s why I’m glad you just let me handle it.
Misty, I’ve had issues with bullies at places I worked at in the past and I will say that what got me on the weight lifting wagon was knowing that I eventually was getting to the point that I could squat/deadlift/press those actual people. Many times. It’s f-ing awesome and will really build up your confidence in other ways.
And if you don’t believe me, read this essay by Henry Rollins, as it is one of the most inspirational and motivational pieces on fitness ever written: http://www.oldtimestrongman.com/strength-articles/iron-henry-rollins (forgive the hyperbole but it’s really, really awesome).
elizabeth recently posted..My-Ass-Must-Squat-Month: pineapple-cucumber-chile agua fresca.
I love this comment so much. I need to get back to lifting regularly, and this is great motivation.
I work out at home–we got a 15 lb barbell via Amazon, and plates can be ordered through Walmart.com and shipped to the store for free, and that really helps when I want to work out frustrations. Shoot me an email if you want some barbell circuit stuff to try too! Those are a great way to get a great strength/cardio workout in within a relatively short amount of time.
elizabeth recently posted..My-Ass-Must-Squat-Month: pineapple-cucumber-chile agua fresca.
I am so glad you let it go and are behaving like a grown up in a situation where other people are not. xoxo
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